


With us, it's just natural

by multifandomgeek



Category: Shameless (US)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Best Friends, Blow Jobs, Dry Humping, First Time, Fluff, Internalized Homophobia, M/M, Recreational Drug Use, Self-Discovery, Smut, Some Humor, not-bipolar!Ian
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-05-07
Updated: 2015-05-08
Packaged: 2018-03-29 10:46:05
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 6,324
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3893482
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/multifandomgeek/pseuds/multifandomgeek
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Ian and Mickey ended up becoming good friends, but their trust on each other was put to test when Ian told Mickey he was gay. After some really confusing explanations, hopefully nothing changes too much.</p><p>Until one night, it does. But not the way they expected.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Toni Morrison said "If there's a book that you want to read, but it hasn't been written yet, then you must write it", so I did it, only with fanfiction ;)

Ian looked at the clock for what felt like the millionth time that day. His shift at the Kash ‘n Grab was passing way slower than normal. Not one single customer showed up at the grocery store, not even the annoying kids that thought stealing cheap gum made them badass somehow. There wasn’t a magazine or newspaper he hadn’t read yet, and he was almost resorting to learn what were the ingredients of a Snickers bar when the door opened and a brunette guy showed up to save Ian from fatal boredom.

He knew that guy, it was Mickey Milkovich, Mandy’s brother. He talked to him sometimes when he went to their home to hang out with Mandy, which wasn’t very often if he was honest about it. He knew she still liked him even knowing he was gay, and he didn’t want to be rude or anything but some girls thought they could seduce gay guys, as if that would made them special or something, like they wanted to have a superpower over other girls, to be unique, whatever that meant. Ian had a bad experience with it and didn’t want it to happen again, so he limited the time he spent with Mandy until he was sure she wouldn’t try anything. He liked her, and he knew they could be good friends, but he also knew she might ruin that if he made her somehow think he liked her a little too much. So he waited, and kept listening to her when needed and mostly being an ordinary friend.

So, he knew Mickey, but not very much. He knew his reputation more than anything, but for the little he saw, he was just an ordinary southside guy most of the time. Which meant he may be there to steal some stuff, so Ian kept an eye on him. Not like he had anything else to do anyway.

Ian watched the guy look through the snacks and pick some chips. Now that he had some time to really look at Mickey, he could say he was attractive, on his own way. Maybe it was more about the mistery he kept, if he was being objective about it. If he had a badboy fetiche, the brunette would certainly fit the bill. He didn’t, but he was just analyzing the guy, for lack of anything else to do. He couldn’t see his ass behind the large jacket he wore, but if he had to bet, he would guess it was a nice ass, round and firm. As he often did when he was checking guys out absentmindedly like that, he wondered “if he was gay, would he be a top or a bottom?”. Hmmm, that was a hard one. It was hard to picture Mickey as gay anyway, he was very… rough. Violent, even. He could be a good top, give it hard and fast. But he could also be a secretly thirsty bottom. It wasn’t really a question of appearances, he knew that, but he was just passing time, not like Mickey would ever be gay anyway. If he had to decide, he would say top, but he wouldn’t put money on it.

“Hey, Gallagher!” Mickey said, interrupting his thoughts. “You there?”

“Hm…” said Ian, eloquently. Apparently, it wasn’t the first time Mickey had called him. “Sorry, I was just distracted.”

“Yeah, whatever, give me some cigarettes, will you” he said, coming to the counter. Ian frowned, and put the pack next to the chips and some other stuff Mickey had picked. “Are you actually gonna pay?”

“Whoa, rude!” the brunette said, looking offended.

Ian snorted, “come on... ”

Mickey laughed at that. “I’m actually on probation, so I’m laying low, but thanks for the vote of confidence there, Gallagher, made me feel real good about myself”. Ian smiled and started ringing him up. “Haven’t seen you around much, Mandy dumped you or something?”, said the brunette on the means of small talk, probably trying to insult Ian, just for the hell of it.

“We never really dated so she couldn’t have dumped me, but I guess it’s been a while. Maybe I’ll call her, she always had the best weed and god knows I need to get high.”

“Yeah, because it was _my_ weed… bitch always stealing from me”, said Mickey, but there wasn’t any heat on it. “I have some, actually, if you want to come over sometime.”

“Really? It would be nice to get away from home for a while, Lip is pissing me off so much lately. Could I come today, around eight?”

“Sure. But bring beer”, he then paid and turn to leave. “Seriously, no beer, no weed!”, he threatened, closing the door, leaving a smiling Ian behind. He felt like a 6 year-old making a new friend at the playground, but he didn’t think too much about it. The perspective of alcohol, weed, and a good few hours away from his asshole of a brother were enough to get him in a good mood for the rest of the afternoon.

\--

And just like that, Ian and Mickey became friends. They started hanging out occasionally, most times with Mandy tagging along, but neither minded. By the time Mandy found herself a boyfriend and didn’t have as much time nor want to be with them so much, the boys were comfortable enough with each other to hang out literally whenever they could, just to get away from their fucked up lives and smoke, drink, or even just laugh together at some poorly produced horror movie. They argued about stupid stuff to pass the time, like who would win a fight between random celebrities, or who could be fucking whom on their neighborhood, or really, anything that wouldn’t be too important. They never talked about serious stuff if they could avoid it. It was an unspoken agreement that there were too many serious stuff going on outside of their friendship, and they knew that they were each other’s escape. It made life a little easier.

However, when Ian came running to the Milkovich house saying he needed to see Mickey with a scared look on his face, the older boy didn’t hesitate to join the redhead at the closed store just to listen to him. He didn’t mock or teased him, just listened, and then bought Ian’s favorite booze and offered the couch on his room for him to stay the night if he wanted. By the end of the night, Ian was feeling better and a little tipsy, and didn’t take on Mickey’s offer. Even so, they friendship shifted somehow, and even if they never spoke of it again, they were closer and started to really trust each other.

Their trust was put to test the day Ian told Mickey he was gay. It was months after the “I need to see you” incident, Ian hooked up with some random guy and wanted to tell Mickey. He just wanted to share how awful it was and make fun of the weird stuff the guy was into, just like Mickey did sometimes with girls he hooked up with. It shouldn’t be a big deal and he tried to convince himself of that before telling Mickey as casually as possible that he, in fact, liked dick. Not that he ever lied about it before, he just was very good at going around the subject or making sentences without pronouns.

As it turned out, he should probably have prepared Mickey a little. The brunette was so shocked he just stared at Ian for a good five minutes without letting a word out. “Like… a guy?” he finally asked, “with a penis and all?”. And when Ian held back his nervous laugh (that could easily be misinterpreted) and confirmed, Mickey just got up and left, without much of a good bye.

Three days later and Ian was already convincing himself he didn’t have a friend anymore and would probably be very inconspicuously fag bashed to death some of this days, when Mickey bursted through the door of the Kash ‘n Grab, leaned slightly on the counter without looking directly at Ian and said. “I’m okay with it.”

This time, it was Ian’s turn to be shocked “... w-what?”

“It’s just… warn a guy next time, will ya? You don’t just burst that stuff out like that… what the fuck, man? I didn’t even know it was, like, a real option… like.. a thing, that happened to real people...”

“What, you didn’t think gays where real?” Ian said, laughing a little, more out of relief than anything.

“Of course they are fucking real, dumbass, I knew that… It’s just… in this neighborhood? It isn’t like you are a northsider that can walk around all fairy and nothing happens.”

“Are you calling me a fairy? I’m having trouble understanding you, honestly”.

“Jesus.. just, why would you be like that, living _here_ , don’t you know how fucking dangerous it is?”

“It’s not like a have a choice, you know.” Mickey didn’t say anything, just looked at Ian as if he was trying to make sense of what he was saying, just honestly trying to _understand_. Ian paused and tried to make some sense of it himself, of why he was gay, so he could somehow explain. He just went for the _how do you know?_ answer and hoped it was enough: “I look at girls and feel nothing. I’m not wired that way, there’s nothing I can do. You know, Lip actually got a girl to blow me once, just to be sure. It was just not good. And it’s so good with a guy… I can’t just… not be me…” Mickey was just frowning, listening like he was drinking Ian’s words, so the redhead kept talking. “I know it’s dangerous, but I try to be careful enough, I mean, I’m not propositioning to guys in alleys or anything… but, really, it’s just… imagine when you look at a girl you really like and you feel stuff inside you, and not only arousal, although it’s really an easy tell when you get hard for one thing and not another, but, I mean, you look at her body, and pay attention to little details , and find stuff charming… that’s how I feel about guys, I check them out without really thinking, I like how they smell, how they talk, how they move, and lots of other things I don’t even pay attention on girls… I mean, not all guys, the ones I happen to like… I don’t know if I’m explaining it right… I’m actually confusing even myself… Fuck, I…”

“So fucking confusing…” muttered Mickey, and Ian stopped talking, looking at the brunette and seeing something on his expression he couldn't quite get. Mickey held his gaze for just a second, rapidly turning away from the redhead. “I have to go, but, hum… we’re good, don’t worry, I was just surprised. Come over whenever, I don’t know” and then he waved an awkward goodbye and left.

\--

Things changed for a while, but it wasn’t long before they fell into their routine again and all the awkwardness was gone a few packs of beer later. But although Ian knew he could now talk about guys with Mickey if he liked, he just couldn’t bring himself to do it. He wasn’t scared or anything, Mickey himself made some pretty lame gay-jokes sometimes. It was something else, he didn’t know. He was just glad things were okay between them.

A few weeks later, they were alone in the Milkovitch house about to watch the new Taken movie that Mickey somehow got a hold of. Mandy was at her new boyfriend’s house and Mickey’s brothers were on a run with a cousin of theirs. His dad was still in prison and for once they had some peace and quiet to smoke some pretty good weed without anyone trying to steal it. They put the movie on and leaned on the couch, drinking, smoking, and making an occasional comment about the story.

About two thirds into the movie, Ian had his head laid into the back of the couch and was staring at the ceiling, trying to figure out what a really weirdly-shaped stain was. Maybe it was gum. Maybe it was cum. He chuckled. Imagine cumming this high. Well, you probably had to be really high to come this high.

"What the fuck are you laughing at? The guy is being tortured!” said Mickey, now laughing too, probably at Ian. Or he was high too. Was Mickey high? Ian couldn’t remember.

“I’m not paying attention to the movie anymore it was too complicated” he turned his head to look at Mickey, without lifting it from the comfort of the couch. “Are you high?”

“Of course I am!” chuckles, “we both are. That was some heavy shit, man…” Mickey looked at Ian and mirrored his position by leaning more on the couch too. “You’re probably a little drunk too. Lightweight!”, he accused.

“Fuck you, I’m not drunk! And you just pretend to be all badass, but I know you drink less than me to keep up, don’t think I haven’t noticed.”

“Fuck off, do not” then leaned a little closer. Ian did too. “You know what I just remembered…” Mickey smiled as if he was about to tell a joke.

“What?”

“You are gay!” Mickey said and laughed, Ian following. They laughed at that for a while, ending up leaned slightly closer to each other by the time they could finally catch their breath again.

“You forgot that I’m gay” Ian said, still laughing a little.

“I didn’t forget, I just don’t think about it so often anymore…”

“You did before?”

“All the time...”

“Why?”

“Because… it is just so fucking brave…”

“There is nothing extraordinary about it.” Ian laughed a little at the word extraordinary. Big word. So many syllables!

They fell silent for a while. Mickey had his eyes closed and a goofy smile on his face, Ian couldn’t help but stare, noticing how unusually close they were from each other. Mickey opened his eyes to look directly into Ian’s, and the redhead’s smile faded a little as he realized how beautiful Mickey was.

“We’re really close” Ian said, leaning even closer. His heart was beating fast now and he just didn’t want to think about what he was doing.

“How drunk are you?” Mickey asked, suddenly serious and speaking so low that it was almost a whisper.

“I’m not drunk, I told you. I don’t think I’m even that high anymore.” He mirrored the older boy’s soft tone. “Okay, maybe a little high, but, you know, regular high.” He looked at Mickey’s lips for what felt like just a second and too long at the same time. “You?”

“Yeah, not that high anymore either” and he closed his eyes again, seemingly just to rest for a little bit. Ian let out a shaky breath and closed his eyes too. They both moved just the slightest, probably even unconsciously, hoping to not break the spell. And without knowing who to blame, their noses touched lightly. Ian was still moving, but he could feel Mickey moving too, slowly, so, so slowly. He was sure the other boy could hear his heartbeat by this point, it was so loud.

He almost talked, almost said “I thought you were straight”. He never even thought about Mickey that way since that time he checked him out at the store so long ago, almost as a joke. But now, it was all he could think about, his laugh, his lips, his eyes, his whole face really, his sense of humor, his arms, how strong he was, how kind he was only with those closer to him, only when he didn’t think about it too much, how… and all of a sudden the only thing in his mind was the air they were sharing.

And without knowing who moved first, they were kissing. Softly, chaste, carefully, as if they both were afraid that any sudden movement would make it all fall apart. Ian opened his eyes just slightly, to look at the other boy’s face as if to believe this was really happening. He kept the soft kiss while gazing at the way Mickey’s eyelashes were flushed against his cheeks, how relaxed he looked, something he rarely saw, and admiring the little skin imperfections and freckles he never noticed before. He sighed into the kiss, closed his eyes again and tentatively tried to put his tongue into play, so lightly that he could say it didn’t happened if needed, and it was like pressing a button.

Suddenly, Mickey opened his mouth and pressed it more firmly against the redhead’s, moving out of the couch just enough to angle his head and push closer to the other boy. Ian groaned, and responded in equal enthusiasm, tangling their tongues together and moving his hands to Mickey’s back, pressing against him, pushing him to lie flat on the couch with Ian on top, chests pressed together. One of Mickey’s hands found Ian’s hair while the other caressed along his back, feeling his muscles, his spine, his shoulders, the back of his neck. The kiss heated and soon Mickey’s hands were on Ian’s ass, and the younger boy wasted no time, grinding their hips together, which pushed a gasp out of the brunette, breaking their kiss.

They stared at each other trying to catch their breaths. Ian panicked for a moment, his thoughts going to ruined friendships and death threats. And then Mickey’s hands found Ian’s arms, feeling them. The brunette’s gaze was inspecting Ian’s face, and the redhead was starting to feel a little self-conscious. But not for long, since Mickey’s lips were soon on his again and he was arching his back and bringing his hips up, craving the contact they were having moments ago.

They were grinding into each other hard, hands all over each other, and Mickey parted their kiss to breathe once again, without stopping their hips. Ian’s mouth found his neck and how could he never have noticed just how _good_ his best friend smelled. Mickey let out a shaky breath and muttered “I don’t think I’ve ever been this hard... It’s just so good... ”, and Ian wondered if he realized he said it out loud.

“Well, thank you”, Ian said, being the cocky motherfucker he was. He smiled and resumed kissing and sucking every bit of skin he could reach. Mickey laughed, soon to be gasping again with all the pleasure.

“Idiot, you’re ruining it”, but he kept smiling, closing his eyes at the sensation and trying to bring Ian even closer.

“Oh yeah?”, Ian said, taking it as a personal challenge to make it as good as possible without pushing it too far. He grinded against Mickey faster and harder, and wondered for a moment if it would be too much to take their cocks out and jerk them together. But never mind that, because Mickey was clinging into his back for dear life, and Ian felt his own orgasm built faster than expected at the low sounds and heavy breaths that escaped Mickey’s mouth. Their mouths crashed together again in a sloppy kiss as they kept moving frantically, until Mickey pulled back, eyes closed, mouth opened and stopped breathing for a moment just to let out the most delicious moan as he reached his climax. The visual alone was enough to make Ian come undone, but it was the moan that made him fall over the edge, and he buried his face at the brunette’s neck with a low groan as he rode his own orgasm.

They laid on top of each other, panting, limbless, dreading the moment they would have to come back to reality. Time stretched until they weren’t breathless anymore. Ian tried to desperately think of a joke or something that could make them go back into their light routine again, fearing the awkwardness that would most likely fall into them. Turned out he didn’t have to. Not for the moment, anyway.

“Get the fuck off me, you weigh like a ton” Mickey said. As Ian did so, chuckling a little, he noticed the other boy was still keeping his eyes closed. He wanted to talk, to ask Mickey what did all that mean. Was he gay? Did he knew and didn’t tell Ian? Were they boyfriends now? Did Mickey think he was like, highsexual (if there even is such a thing, really)? Or, worst of all, would they pretend like nothing ever happened?

He didn’t ask anything, though. He just sat up on the couch and closed his eyes too. Mickey probably needed time to figure it all out by himself, pushing him right now would be even a little cruel, after all he knew how hard it could be to come to terms with your own sexuality. Specially in their neighborhood. And specially, Ian thought with dread, in that house. Hell, he was scared of Terry finding out about him and he didn’t even live with the guy!

A loud bang made them both realise that the movie was still on. Ian reached for one of the beers that was still on the coffee table, coming out of his trance to feel his dry throat bothering him. The beer was stale and warm, and he grimaced as he drank it. “This is shit”.

At which Mickey answered with a low laugh and said: “Go find us some fucking beers. I’m not getting up, you ruined me”. He was looking up at Ian, smiling, and the redhead smiled back, thinking he probably had never seen Mickey smile so much. He still looked a little numb and full of bliss.

Ian got up to find a beer in the fridge, bringing one for Mickey too. The brunette had barely sat up again when Mandy came bursting into the house. He immediately put his default annoyed face back on and took a sip on his beer.

“Sup, dickheads”, she said, sitting on the couch between them, trying to figure out what they were watching, as if it was just a normal night and they were just hanging out the three of them. Ian suddenly felt very self-conscious. He looked at the other boy across from him and noticed a big frown on Mickey’s forehead as he stared blankly at the TV, as if all the reality of what they’d done and what it probably meant was dawning on him at once.

“.. and then the bitch called me a skank, can you believe it? I…” Ian suddenly realized Mandy was talking, and nobody was listening.

“Sorry Mands” he interrupted, “I just remembered Fiona asked me to be home early to babysit tonight.”

“You look weird, are you okay?’, she asked.

“Yeah, don't worry. I just really have to go. Hey, Mick” he called, thinking they needed a proper goodbye, even if they didn’t have the privacy for it right now. He couldn’t just leave Mickey thinking he regretted anything. When the brunette looked at him, probably trying as hard as him to just _be cool_ , he continued: “if you still need ideas for that scam, call me, I think I can help.” He hoped the message would be received,  _if you are confused just call me. If you are not call me anyway. Just call me, please._

“Whatever” said Mickey, and turned back to the TV. But he looked a little less tense as he sipped his beer, so Ian left with a cautious smile on his face.


	2. Chapter 2

Mickey was just _so fucking confused_.

He sat against the wall on the abandoned building he usually went to target practice and tried to make sense of all that fucked up situation. He could not be gay, he just  _could not_. Fuck Ian for putting the idea on his mind that it was okay to have that option. It wasn’t okay. It was wrong. So wrong it got you killed.

But it was so right, tough. He never felt like that with a girl. He fucked them and hooked up with them but it was just ok. He was starting to think everybody really oversold sex because it wasn’t that big of a deal for him. He did it, because people do it and it’s what you are supposed to do, but it wasn’t that good and he seriously questioned how could guys get so pussy whipped sometimes.

Well, now he wasn’t questioning it anymore. Shit.

He started to rethink his whole life, how he never caught himself checking a girl out, how all the guys he preferred to deal drugs with were just really hot and that was probably the reason he didn’t mind being around them, how he always went for male cashiers on stores, and lots of other situations that were starting to really make sense to form a big fucked-up rainbow-flag puzzle of Mickey’s life. Hell, even the porn he liked. Flat-chested women, young and well-built guys. Have he picked them because of the guy every time without even realize it? Had he been looking at the guy without thinking while jerking off? Well… probably…

He went back to every time he saw a faggot on the street or the few times he saw a gay couple, how irrationally pissed off that made him. He remembered how good it felt the time when he and his brother’s beat up a really annoying homo that didn’t pay them. It was the most angry he ever got when punching someone. Maybe he was just trying to punch it in himself, after all.

Fuck. Holy flying fuck. He was… no he couldn’t, just no. No. He didn’t want it. It was just not worth the trouble.

He decide to shoot at the wall a little, and when that didn’t work to calm him down he just went home. He didn’t want to think anymore. It was just a question of going back to when he didn’t have the option of liking guys. That’s it, easy.

But it wasn’t that simple, and on the way home it was like everything was different. It was just like Ian told him that time, how good it was to hear a deep voice, or how sexy that guy on the corner smoked, how hot that Johnson kid looked now that he had a beard on, how cool that guy walked, he walked just like Ian. He liked to watch Ian move towards him sometimes, especially if he was smoking while doing it. It looked like if he was something out of a badass movie. A small smile found its way to Mickey’s face without his permission, and he kept thinking about Ian. His walk, his voice, his dorkiness, how dedicated he was when he really wanted something, how brave he was, how strong he was. He thought of  his eyes, his hair, his smile, his mouth, his tongue, how he kissed him, how he felt his whole body against his own…

And there goes the plan to be back at not having that option anymore.

“Fuck” he muttered to himself and ran a hand down his face as he entered his house, noticing it was empty and going straight to his room, closing the door and throwing himself on the bed. He couldn’t stop thinking about last night, no matter how much he tried. All the confusing thoughts on his mind ended up coming back to Ian. He didn’t even want to drink it off, who knows what he could end up doing if he wasn’t sober enough to stop himself. Well, if last night wasn’t enough evidence of that.

Great, now he had a hard on.

He reached for his cock, trying not to think about freckled skin and strong arms holding him down, failing miserably. He started stroking faster and looked for the cream he used for his wanking sessions on his drawer. As soon as the lotion hit his hand an idea crossed his mind. Well, if he was going homo he might as well go full homo and shove a finger or two in there, just to see what all the fuzz is about.

At first, it was just weird and it burned a little, and he thought it maybe wasn’t for him, but soon he found _something_ that lit his whole body up, and then he was just lost. He was hot all over while he fingered himself and stroke his cock at the same time, trying to find that spot again and again and again. He wished it was Ian’s fingers on him. If he made Mickey feel that good with their clothes on, imagine how much better it still could be, how those long fingers would find that spot so much easier, their mouths locked together, Mickey’s hands on Ian’s arms and chest and perfect ass... He thought about how he felt Ian’s erection through their clothes yesterday, how big he was, how hard... and then he has gone, coming on his hand, breathless and with a decision on his mind.  

Without giving himself time to rethink it, he called Ian. The redhead picked up almost immediately, and Mickey couldn’t help but smile. Ian was probably looking at his phone waiting for Mickey to call since he left the Milkovitch house last night. “Meet me at the abandoned building. Bring whiskey”, the brunette said, and immediately hung up. Better keep it simple.

\---

About half an hour later he was once again sitting against the wall when Ian (fucking finally) showed up. Mickey stared and noticed in the flesh just how hot the redhead was. When he sat a few feet away from Mickey, the older boy’s breathing was a little out of control and maybe he was having something of a panic attack.

If Ian noticed, he didn’t say anything and Mickey was grateful for it. “Here”, he said, taking a bottle of a not-so-bad whiskey out of his backpack and handing it to Mickey, who immediately opened it and drank a good amount on one gulp. It burned but he felt a little better after. Ian just smiled and reached for the bottle to take a sip himself. Mickey just couldn’t stop looking at him, all of him, every little detail, every movement. It made him even more scared.

“Take it easy” said Ian, without looking at him “don’t overthink it, give yourself time”.

Mickey didn’t want time. He felt like an addict in Ian’s presence, and no matter how much he tried, he couldn’t quite convince himself he was making a mistake. At the same time, everything else was so overwhelming: the future, his family, everything he thought about life didn’t make sense now that there was something so good in it. And not only in the dirty way. He decided to forget all that for now.

“Kiss me” he said, and maybe that was not the way he was planning on doing it. He wanted to establish some rules, maybe even ask Ian for advice or something, but apparently his mouth had other plans. Oh well.

Ian didn’t even hesitated or asked if he was sure. He just got up in silence and offered a hand to help Mickey stand too. Mickey took it and when they were both standing, Ian interwined their fingers together and stared at his eyes, gently pushing him against the wall with his body until there was no more space between them. All of it, together with the fact that Ian was a bit taller than him, was so hot that Mickey was struggling to remember how to breathe normally. Ian kept staring at him, and only when Mickey’s gaze locked on his lips he made a move, using his other hand to push Mickey’s head up by the back of his neck and crushing their mouths together, meeting practically tongue first. There was no build up, it was immediately heated and Mickey parted their hands to feel Ian everywhere, more consciously this time, trying to memorise every inch of the redhead’s body with his touch. Ian’s hand went immediately to his side, as if it was magnetically pulled to feel Mickey.

They kept kissing for a while, until Mickey’s hands found the hem of Ian’s shirt and pulled it up, craving skin to skin touch. They parted to take it all the way off and soon Mickey’s shirt was gone too. They both groaned when their chests touched and Mickey pushed Ian, switching their position against the wall. He started to suck on his neck while feeling the skin on his chest. His hands downed to his abs and found his belt. He undid Ian’s jeans and put his hand roughly down his pants, feeling for the first time another man’s hot erection on his hands. It was amazing. He stopped his mouth and put his temple against Ian’s, focusing on the feeling of jerking another guy off. Of jerking Ian off.

Ian was breathing on his ear and letting out low and deep moans. It was heaven. His hands found their way to undo Mickey’s pants too. Everything was too much of what Mickey never had, and as soon as that strong, big hand was touching his incredibly hard dick, he was coming with a gasp, his hand stopping jerking Ian and his head throwing back. The brunette blushed, but Ian smiled as if he was really proud of himself. Mickey cut the smug look on his face by taking his cock out and jerking him faster. He wanted to kiss him, but he couldn’t keep his eyes of Ian’s dick. His mouth watered and he thought “fuck it”, looking at Ian for a second before stopping his ministrations and dropping on his knees.

Ian visibly gulped and tensed, looking as if he just couldn’t believe it. Well, Mickey couldn’t believe it either, but he stopped listening to fear the moment he asked for a kiss, and decided he could just do whatever he wanted and freak out about it later. He put his mouth on the head of Ian’s cock and gave it a wet kiss, dragging a gasp out of the redhead. It was all the encouragement he needed to try and think of all he liked on his own dick and mirror it on Ian’s. He took all he could on his mouth and covered the rest with his hands, starting to bob his head. The feeling has heavy and hot and Mickey was liking it much, much more than he expected.

He probably wasn’t doing the best job with it but the way Ian was panting and shivering with his eyes closed and his hand firmly on Mickey’s hair told him he wasn’t doing the worst either. He kept up and brought his other hand to feel the redhead’s lower abs. He took his hand off Ian’s shaft, keeping going with his mouth, and pushed Ian’s pants all the way down to feel his bare ass. He took two handfuls of it and squeezed, and the way his name came out of the redhead’s mouth, all deep and broken, made him moan and close his eyes. Everything was just so amazing he didn’t even care Ian was coming down his throat, until he almost gagged on it. He tried to control himself and kept going, swallowing it all. It was so hot that if he could, he would’ve come again. Too soon, Ian was pushing him off of his oversensitive cock, and Mickey wiped his mouth with the back of his hand and sat down, completely spent.

Ian pushed his pants up and went to his backpack to find a cigarette that they both shared in silence for a while, sitting in front of each other, still shirtless. Mickey was pretty sure that if the redhead tried to put his shirt on again he would’ve found a way to stop him. He was shamelessly enjoying the view when Ian talked.

“Mickey…”

“Shut up” and he did, but he looked like he wouldn’t be able to keep it up for much longer, so Mickey sighed and decided to say something. “Look, I don’t want to have a meaningful talk with you. It’s good and I wanna keep doing it. That’s it.”

“Okay”, Ian said, but Mickey knew it wouldn’t be the end of it. “But when you freak out, don’t take it out on me.”

“I’m not freaking out, I _just_ said…”

Ian scofed “yeah, sure”.

“Oh, shut the fuck up’, Mickey said, giving a light push on Ian’s shoulder.

Ian smiled briefly. “I’m serious Mick. _You are_ freaking out, and it’s okay. But I know that talking about it will help you sort things out and feel better. I just don’t want you to turn all this confusion into anger, because I fucking know you and that’s what you’ll do, and chances are _I’m_ the one getting beaten up.”

“Jesus christ, when did you become a fucking therapist?’

“Shut up, I’m trying to help you, you ungrateful prick” but he said it laughing, kicking Mickey’s shin.

Mickey smiled and tried not to think about the butterflies in his stomach. “Okay, doctor, we can fucking talk about it. But not today, okay? And I have one condition.”

“What is it?”

Mickey gathered all his courage and took a deep breath before saying it, knowing there was no coming back after this: “Next time, I want you to fuck me”.

Ian looked shocked for a second, but it was soon replaced with a look of such lust that it made Mickey’s dick twitch. “Well…” the redhead said, already moving closer “why wait?”

And Mickey didn’t even found time to feel nervous before Ian kissed him hard, pushing him to lie on the floor while already getting his pants off.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, I don't like it as much as the first chapter but I hope you still enjoy it. I just wanted to write something that showed just how confusing and frightening it can be. It's not just "oh look, I like dick, I'm gay now", and I really understand all that Mickey went through on the show, so I tried to think how it could've been if there was someone there for him since the beginning. Hope that message got through.
> 
> As always, let me know what you think and if you find there is something I could improve with my english and writing. :)

**Author's Note:**

> Hope you liked it, if you find and weirdly placed words or mistakes, please let me know. Any feedback at all, actually, even bad ones. :)


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